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Plodding along...
01:34 Nov 26 2007
Times Read: 682








I got mine up. I also listened to Christmas music, trying to get into the spirit of the holidays. It's hard but I'm trying...



Finally got to get my saddles. Thanks to Andy that is. He paid for them out of his monthly money since I kept having to use what I had for bills. He is also going to put tires on my car. We stopped at Deals yesterday and was then heading to W-mart. Had a flat *sigh* So we pulled over and put the donut spare on. It was low air, but we was hoping after w-mart we could get to a station to put air in it. o.O No can do. So we ended back in w-mart to get a new tire. Thankfully Andy's friend Dave whom was in from KC helped to pay for it.



Like the saying goes, if it wasn't for bad luck, I'd have none!



Back to the working grind tomorrow. Four day weekend was wayyyy too short.



Had a nice turkey day...

Dave was here from Thursday evening till just a few hours ago. He is already headed back to KC. We hated to see him go. He is Andy's best friend and he was his best man in his wedding. Um, Dave's wife kicked him out before their first anniversary. Can we all say B.I.T.C.H together? Because that is pretty much what she is. But like I always say, what goes around comes around and she will get hers in the long run. He'll make sure of. And we are behind him all the way.



Have a doctors appt Dec 4th. Hopefully I can find out what is causing all my ankle pain and heel pain. As well as find out about my wrist. Still have the knot on the left one and they go numb all the time now.



I'm so tickled. I taught myself how to knit. Although I am only at the basic stage, no sweaters as of yet, but it's a start. I'm making Brianna a scarf to go around her face when she is in the cold. I'm think it's looking pretty cute. I'll take a pic of it when I'm done to show you. I tried to teach myself once before and couldn't catch on, but this time it just clicked and I'm loving it *smile*





Andy is still on disability. Not sure if or when he'll be going back to work. I know I'm falling so behind on everything, I'm thinking I'm ahead of myself. I'll have to use tax money just to get caught back up *sigh* Christmas will sure be tight this year, I know that much.



I'm off to take something for this headache and call it a night. Get rested up for tomorrow, perhaps knit a bit before I turn in.



Maybe next time I make an entry, I'll have something better to write about. Until then my friends, miss me missing you...

Tears that fall...
00:50 Nov 05 2007
Times Read: 689






I know it's been a while since I've made an entry. And I don't see that any one has missed me, and that is ok, because you can't miss what isn't there...



I just get so tired of writing about the same things over and over. And I know it helps to a point, and that it is done for me, and no one else... I have no clue what I'm even trying to say... and even as I type this, tears are in my eyes...





Nothing has really changed. No wait! That is a lie, it's gotten worse. At least it seems that way. I tell people that I put all my bills in a bowl and pick one out a month, and if they call, I tell them they didn't win the bill lottery this month, to try again next month and they laugh. Ya I'm making a joke about it, but's it true. No matter how hard I try to catch up, I get further behind.



As for continuing to complain, I see no sense in, but eh, I will most likely keep falling back into it *sigh*



Ah hell, you'd think it couldn't get any worse and it can :( I borrowed money I didn't have the money to borrow so I could get my car fixed. Suffice it to say, I didn't even have enough to get all the parts I needed. And I ended up having to use some of it for bills that HAD to be paid. I've done my best to cut back on any and all things that I deem unnesscary. I hardly eat, I try to save on electric, I was able to get free fire wood from the local saw mill to heat with this winter, I've cut back on a lot of things on the cell phone, cable would go off if it wasn't for Brian paying half. Gas!!! OMG!!! I have come to the conclusion that I go to work just to pay for the gas to get to work. I'm still paying double on my health insurance from when I was on FMLA. That hopefully ends soon and that will be an additional 30 a week. I've changed my health plan so the beginning of the year I'll get more and I'm not doing the flex account this year so that adds. But hell, I need it right now.



I had to go help Andy pick up the tools. Can't get the damn brakes on tonight, the damn caliper is stuck *cries* When it rains it pours. I wonder if giving up now would be best...



Enough!!!





My brat girl turned 2 Nov 2nd. She had her party at the civic center. After cake and gifts, she got to go swimming. It was a good day all in all. I had to work 5 hours but eh, I needed the overtime. I wasn't able to get her much, but I did my best. She got loads of gifts, mostly winter clothes which she needed as well as a few baby dolls.



Back to work tomorrow. We had to do an audit inventory because they are selling the company. Everyone found out about there end of the year bonus. Since he is selling the company, he gave bigger bonuses. Some people that have been there years got way more. Woman in my department has been there over 20 yrs, she got 19,000. Some got more some got less. I got way less. Although it is a little extra, I was going to use it for Christmas, but now it looks like it will have to be used for bills as well for my car... o.O



Horses are doing fine, as well as the cats and dogs.



Andy had a dr appt tomorrow. He is doing better, but I think he is looking at disablity. *shrugs*



As for me? I'm 44 feeling like 88. My neck is almost in constant pain. I think my wrists are getting worse. They hurt alot, and my hands go numb. Been having trouble with my right ankle. It makes me limp sometimes it hurts so bad. And that tendon that goes up the back of your foot, it hurts like crazy most times. If it isn't one part that hurts, it's something else. I can't afford to go to the doctor. I barely afford my daily medication such as blood pressure meds. I need my yearly exam as well as my mammogram. *sigh* And my insurance sucks, my co pays are 20 regular and 30 specalist. It's a no win situation for me...



I've been trying to sell my broke down car in hopes of getting a little money for much needed things as well as my camper. But I don't seem to be having much luck with either...



I can see where it has been a while since I posted, and as I go back over this entry, I can see why. I'm not sure why I'm even bothering now...



I'm done now... Not even sure if I'll return to write anymore. I'll keep up with a few special people on here, but...

I just don't have it in me anymore...

Nothing helps...

I can't find it in me...



I'm off to shower and call it a night...



Stay safe my friends...